We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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