The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
