i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
