Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
