I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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