Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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