I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
