At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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