the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
