Don't you send me to vm
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
