so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
