Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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