i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
