Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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