I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
