Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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