Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
