Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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