he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
