i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
