Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
