You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
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