god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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