Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
