Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
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