Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
