I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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