Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
