party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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