she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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