I'm really into asian looking animals
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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