Your tits are I can't wait for
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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