we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
