It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I believe in your delicious
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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