do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Randomize
