Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
