like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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