i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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