if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
