But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
