so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
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