Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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