You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
