im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Drunk is not a location!
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Randomize
