another moral hangover. fuck.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I currently don't understand fingers.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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