belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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