dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
