i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
