I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
