yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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