after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Why are your pants in the freezer?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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