You can't motorboat a personality
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
