question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
