wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
