Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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