I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Congratulations! We have a period
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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