I wannas sexs uuuuu
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
