Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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