is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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